Monday, November 26, 2012

the final showdown

At the end , he finally met a girl of his ..
today is my worst day fr my exam.. cant get over it..
thought having hopes but its gone straight after ..
one week of study week happiness being ripped
oh well .. I already have mental prepared for the day to come ,
who am I to judge ? owh well, i feel so much better talking to ming li ,
the impact arent big , I am better now :)

Sunday, November 11, 2012

TEARING TEARS

It feels so dumb to cry , but i know it couldnt be controlled  , everything is jst so screwed and i know i must get it done .

breakdown point when u cant hold on anymore is when u received ur parents call

I hate to talk to them I hate crying over the phone crying over the pouring milk
I cant help it  , I CANT HELP IT ..things need to done .THINGS NEED TO BE DONE!!

HELPP!!

Monday, October 29, 2012

straight to your face

I being defeated once again straight to my face , all the tiny hope , the uncertain and wishes ..
I m tired of given false hope .As I jst hoping hope shouldnt come on me , it was torturous to have slight fake hope. its painful to carry on ..if hope given 10 times sweetness , it comes with 100 times destruction ..

Today , I saw the post straight to my face while i still remains a little hope .I can feel the heat blush through my face .Finally i can get a conclusion before it went too far. stop fantasizing , stop dreaming .. I am tired of these mind guessing game ..  eugene's story make me givin up even more .and yeah god .. U make it instant as what I think I want it to be  .. perhaps this is what it should be 长痛不如短痛 。。 It feels like a strong ache injection pierce right through my heart , I know it gonna be pain .. but at least it wont ate me up day by day , aching a lil day by day  .. Finally I know i should stop trying because there is no more If . I should buck up and focus.

I dont blamed but its just too painful .. I am just crying for a real hope , can I have one? I cant take these anymore ..false hope are tiring and torturous .. god bless him and  for another him , please dont make him as torturous as me . he should be let go ..

Thursday, March 8, 2012

I am totally defeated today..

Is always a hard time , hard way , hard feeling to like someone..
I hate this feeling ,
I hate the feeling on fallen ,
I hate liking someone ,
that day of afraid one day i will fallen on someone..
had come?

I thought I wont , but
finally I admit I totally lose the battle of this mental game..
He arent my type at all ..
but is cuz of appreciation? as time goes by? chemistry?
I dont know..
Is this fond? Is this crush ?

I am not sure seriously ...


I dont wanna be alone but I want ppl to accept me
not cuz I fallen into him but the way I am ...

I have no confidence on my self...

at all...

Is this my destiny , Is this my fate? is this karma?

I always make ppl fall into friendzone ,
I know how they feel , how miserable it is..
and yah .. I got it now ..Its serious suckiest feeling eva ..
U dont know wat he think , did he even care?
This wat we called as friendzone..

ha.. I am pretty sure , those are jst fanaticism of mine..

Get some life audrey , is useless to wonder , to guess , to hope , to wish ,
I am tired of this game.. As time goes by ..

shall see wats goin on ya..
I am so sorry to those friendzoners ..
I am sorry to let u down , but I am also another victim of it
arent?