Monday, January 13, 2014

the hidden blast

first day of school that bringing lots of commitments in the head..
Still not over with the mental torturing stuff that i had bring on to slp and dreams.
Going to sch with no fresh starts doesnt give a cool day through out.
I m confused choosing what I should. How friends could be hurtful how I could be hurtful to someone.
I am 24 and clueless to act what i should .
Is that me ? or that hypocrite feeling getting stronger? I have no idea how to act. should  i be blur and let go and forgive and just Believe the bright side that they had shown.
Friends are still friends . relationship that needs to maintain . How much I had reflected , how blind my eyes are .. I have no directions.

Finally , I stand no more in that plastic situation. I am out.
Things are unsolved . all i could is burst out loud in the small corner that no one could see. Suddenly , I understand lonely , a kind of feeling that friends couldn't solve , a kind of feeling that u don't belongs to the world anymore. I have no idea whats make my day in such a horrible state . I probably pms ing . or things get screwed up and up.. I dont know...

I m glad i have yw at the moment. " we tend to be fragile as time passed regardless mental nor physical"
as what she said, because we are afraid to fall. yes , failure is no longer affordable .

might be pms-ing today , but i saw challenge to be sandwich , how friends could be categorized .And i realised the politics dealing , sometimes is not up to us to control the situation . Principal doesn't work anymore.

I realised I never seeek for him for to long. I m here again and he said:" the feeling is like a car crash , all u need is to rest and let me do the healing job" yes i m tired. plz take me and lead my way .

amen.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

sisterhood

I have no idea how could I be anymore. I felt like a failure being a sister .
I had enough of self reflect. U claimed me bossy , I called u nasty.
All I neeed is at least some respect and appreciation.?Not fit to? so be it .
U left me no reason to dote
Sometime how i wish to have a sisterhood like weiling and her sis .
This is how pathetic it sounds like ..