TEARING TEARS

It feels so dumb to cry , but i know it couldnt be controlled  , everything is jst so screwed and i know i must get it done .

breakdown point when u cant hold on anymore is when u received ur parents call

I hate to talk to them I hate crying over the phone crying over the pouring milk
I cant help it  , I CANT HELP IT ..things need to done .THINGS NEED TO BE DONE!!

HELPP!!

straight to your face

I being defeated once again straight to my face , all the tiny hope , the uncertain and wishes ..
I m tired of given false hope .As I jst hoping hope shouldnt come on me , it was torturous to have slight fake hope. its painful to carry on ..if hope given 10 times sweetness , it comes with 100 times destruction ..

Today , I saw the post straight to my face while i still remains a little hope .I can feel the heat blush through my face .Finally i can get a conclusion before it went too far. stop fantasizing , stop dreaming .. I am tired of these mind guessing game ..  eugene's story make me givin up even more .and yeah god .. U make it instant as what I think I want it to be  .. perhaps this is what it should be 长痛不如短痛 。。 It feels like a strong ache injection pierce right through my heart , I know it gonna be pain .. but at least it wont ate me up day by day , aching a lil day by day  .. Finally I know i should stop trying because there is no more If . I should buck up and focus.

I dont blamed but its just too painful .. I am just crying for a real hope , can I have one? I cant take these anymore ..false hope are tiring and torturous .. god bless him and  for another him , please dont make him as torturous as me . he should be let go ..

I am totally defeated today..

Is always a hard time , hard way , hard feeling to like someone..
I hate this feeling ,
I hate the feeling on fallen ,
I hate liking someone ,
that day of afraid one day i will fallen on someone..
had come?

I thought I wont , but
finally I admit I totally lose the battle of this mental game..
He arent my type at all ..
but is cuz of appreciation? as time goes by? chemistry?
I dont know..
Is this fond? Is this crush ?

I am not sure seriously ...

I dont wanna be alone but I want ppl to accept me
not cuz I fallen into him but the way I am ...

I have no confidence on my self...

at all...

Is this my destiny , Is this my fate? is this karma?

I always make ppl fall into friendzone ,
I know how they feel , how miserable it is..
and yah .. I got it now ..Its serious suckiest feeling eva ..
U dont know wat he think , did he even care?
This wat we called as friendzone..

ha.. I am pretty sure , those are jst fanaticism of mine..

Get some life audrey , is useless to wonder , to guess , to hope , to wish ,
I am tired of this game.. As time goes by ..

shall see wats goin on ya..
I am so sorry to those friendzoners ..
I am sorry to let u down , but I am also another victim of it
arent?

bleed..

this seems like a small garden for my real probzz..
used to eye candyed by ppl..
easily ignore , fade , reject like nth happen

now i m here to feel the feelings...
this is my 2nd time have those kind of feelings..it return..or retribution..
if let me choose i will still hastitating...
today i realize the truth..the feeling was reallly ass bad..heart is tearing ..
piercing and tearing
and i 'll give up and make up my mind..

reject by degrading??

i dont even know..tis mystyle of rejecting other ..let other see how bad i m..thou i noe i m not..i not sure..i even cheat myself...i hope he doesnt realise tat i havin this acc...i degrade myself jst to let him found tat he find the wrong one?this wat i usually do to my suitors..wat m i doin ??!wat for i degrade myself which i wasnt liek tat~!no other better way to reject which can havin win win situation~i m tired being cheated myself n others..i m crapiing now coz i dont know myself well..y i m using a sucks way to reject others?to reduce the guiltiness?act bad infront of them ~?which is not real me?

yest in the bus..i telllling lie...i hate to do so..but i did it..i m regret ..bt i hav no other choice..coz..so far this is the greatest way
i used to do so...

back frm kedah to klg~

wt the heck m i doin...i dunno..coz i dun even know myself .jst back frm kedah..less than 24 hrs..honestly...heart still remains ther..haha..a bit "bu she" since i had stay there more than one week....

JAWS TODAY~!

hmm..new happening things happen today~..after been to kuala kedah tat day..we been ther AGAIN~!coz the uncle managed to brought back a 300kg shark back`!omg DAMN BIG thats the 1st time i saw it..such a big shark..dangerous..his uncle called us..we quickly rushed out of the house..like the reporter..haha thankz to him and WL mom ..we managed to explore new things hhaa...

300 kg~ a hard thick skin shark fish..heheee..sit on it ..like heroine only..kinda stinky ..but no fear~lot of ppl took pic with it ..erhmm..small eye still opening ..si bu ming mu ..haha
time for WL uncle to cut it into pieces..if there are baby inside..tats really lucky coz ..the baby is vry worthy~too bad..there are nth inside...she give birth rd...left with her huge liver inside~bloody...oh ya .lazy to upload ..btw can see frm my FB there are all the pic inside~blooddyy marry~~~